This weeks challenge to explore ourselves, this has truly blown the doors wide open on me, who I really am and why am I like I am. These last four weeks have opened my eyes and as I work on these challenges I have been met with some dread. I see others work and feel I am not even doing the same sport, let alone in the same league.
As a sufferer of dyslexia, going to a school with a focus on its highest scholars and best sports players, I wasn't afforded any extra help I needed, this I think where I thought, later on, I was being strong for not asking for help just made things that much harder. I have noticed that the last couple of weeks, where I was struggling, I went back to what I did at school where I just went through the motions and except I would get a bad grade. I know I am better than this and everything I have achieved since has been a testament to my determination to succeed. When I did my BA, I knew my peers had better experience at design than me and instead of just accepting this I did everything I could to leave with the best grade I could. Doing my Masters I have to apply the same to make sure I can achieve the best of my abilities.
Firstly writing 20 words (21 as I cannot think of a single word for seeking approval) was a challenge, more so to find the positives in myself. The words themself when trying to identify if they are positive or negative I found that some fitted both.
I think, though if I was to put myself into one word its pleaser. I look at the words like dependable and know these traits are a by-product of my pleasing attitude.
When I tried to figure out where this artefact should be placed, I went straight for the poster route. Although I struggled to do anything that I felt was unique to me and what I do.
As I tried working through my head what to make I decided to bend the rules a little. Instead of simply doing an image to represent me I decided to make an artefact that represents me, but also a tool to help me throughout this journey. As much as I feel like an imposter and I try and please others for their approval, I know, deep down I am good at what I do and I should not just try and be like everyone else.
Using the salt cellar as a base. I added messages of positivity that when I need it i can read and remember exactly why I am doing this degree and not to stress over challenges I will face.
This week I feel, although I answered the challenge, and the result was good. I feel that I should have put more into the development of my final outcome.
I have realised that splitting my blog posts by subject is also confusing and going forward I will be compressing my research and tasks into one post.